messages and information coming in from all sides.
self service this, self service that, don’t manage lead, i don’t need detail, i need more high level, i’ve been off on maternity, the person who used to do that has left, we hadn’t thought of that, i’m telling rather than asking, you could think about, Have you checked with, 1 plus 1 is 3, do you have any feedback, its been noted that, have you thought about your personal brand, can you help with purchase reqs, can I ask a quick question about ed sponsorship, do you have a WordPress log in, how do I access Lynda, let them fail, learn to say no, we are all one company, you need to collaborate more, customers, revenue, out with the old, dont cross pollinate….
I’ve spent all day trying to find inspiration and energy.
I have none.
I go through the motions.
I’m not even upset about it.
At 6 the thing which has been annoying me turns up. My energy jumps. Its not anger. Its inspiration.
What do you do when the thing which you don’t want to be is all that you need to be?
There’s a kick I get when I believe that no one can keep up.
It makes me feel good to push work back onto others; you get paid more than me, earn it.
Determination and hard work are all I’ve ever had.
I’d like to be good on my team, but I’m not a great team player.
A trip to the dentist brings back the oldest memories. I’m transported back. I can feel my mums hand. I miss holding it.
The anaesthetic takes part of my conscious mind away. I’m nervous. I sing Good Vibrations to myself.
Look! Listen! Vibrate! Smile!
Questions take my mind away. The guitarist who replaced David Marks? The two new recruits on Sail on Sailor?
Why haven’t I listened to any of their other work?
An old film reminds me of a turning point in my life.
I never came back from there.
I never wanted to.
I watch it as I get rid of items: Determined to make it to the tent and the pair of jeans and 3 t shirts
Old friends take a trip to a memorial with me.
Its packed. T-shirts and tattoos everywhere.
We laugh when we leave. Old jokes keeping our friendship alive. Old memories reminding us of our past together.
Top ten lists are compared.
New dates are set.
He adds so much to my life. But he has no idea.